One day when the sun was shining

The sun is shining on my face. I close my eyes. I see my past months passing by. FLASHBACK. So many things happen and yew just realize it months afterwards. Do yew want to catch the bus? Yew run to catch the bus. Yew run fast. Yew are not sure whether it’s the right one, but yew don’t want to miss it. Yew’re out of breath. Yew catch it….yew breath. Yew have this smile (of triumph) on your face. Yew realize it’s the wrong bus. Disappointment! Do yew cry? Do yew regret? Do yew feel that time, effort and life were wasted? Or yew just get out of the bus in the next station and move on?
It’s always like this.
I love the sun on my face. It’s always a good sign. It gives me hope. But I keep thinking: Am I up to the challenge? Can I make it? Sometimes everything goes wrong. Even the sun…the sun goes down and yew’re suddenly left all alone. No more sun on your face. Yet… yet I can survive. Yet I know the sun will shine again tomorrow. Am I weak? Am I strong? How did I come here? The road is full of signs. Yew miss one of them and your life takes another direction. But how else will yew learn? Not by following a manual. Not by other people’s experience. Not by abstaining from doing the “wrong” things. Not by locking yourself in a room. Not by sticking to one job, or same friends, or same principles, or ideas, or beliefs, or thoughts, ideals, memories, aspirations, but most importantly: not by sticking to the same goals…
It is all about experience. Do yew want to make use of experience? Do yew want to learn from it? I feel alone. The sun is gone. I listen to the music. I listen to my mind. I listen to my ideas. I hear my heart aching. Calling for happiness to come again. Calling for the sun to shine to warm my soul. I feel empty. I look in the mirror and I can’t recognize myself. Is this a strange person? Is it the same old person with new features? Is it me ignoring myself? It’s still me yew know?! Why do yew ignore me? I missed the moment of happiness today… it passed me by. And I regret it. I thought the sun shining on my face was my moment of happiness today. But it wasn’t. It was an illusion that I wanted to believe. It is like music. Like dreams. Like imagination. It is like yoga. Drugs. Religion. Friends. Money. Sports. Reading. Family. Movies. Sex. Work. Sweets. Lover. Beliefs. Children. They all make us happy in one way or another… but the question is: ARE WE?!