For all the "Thank You's" that I didn't say...

I’ve never seen you before, but I always heard about you, since I was a little girl. I always tried to imagine how you look like. These imaginations were built up on the different things I heard “grown-ups” say about you. They said that you’re big, that you’re strong, and that you punish us when we do mistakes. Whenever kids like me did something wrong, our parents would tell us that you’re going to be mad at us. We were immediately scared, because we didn’t want to piss you off. Not because we loved you, but because we were scared of you, and because we were scared of the punishment… of YOUR punishment.
Recently, after so many years of experience, questions, discussions, readings, conversations, ideas, information, and meditation, your picture in my mind changed alot. Suddenly you didn’t look big and scary anymore. Now… you look more like a sweet old man, veeery old, with white hair and beard, with a sweet smile in your eyes… you’re not always smiling I know, sometimes you have to look angry, but this angriness doesn’t erase the smile in your eyes. These warm eyes that make me love you more and more and more. These welcoming eyes that say: “whatever you do, I love you”.  And I think to myself: “I love you, too”.
But you know why? Not only because of your welcoming smile, or your encouragement of every improvement and progress I bring to my life, but because of so many things. I love you and I thank you at the same time. I thank you for my life… I thank you for every breath you gave and still give me. I thank you for my father, for the relationship we’ve developed now and for the love and affection we have and show to eachother. I thank you for my sister, for how close we became, for how strong she is, and for the many advice she gave me throughout the past year. I thank you for my aunt, who’s become a mother to me and my sister since 3 years, and who is doing it willingly and affectionately. I thank you for their lives, for their presence in my life, for their health and well-being, for their love and care…
Do you know what else I want to thank you for? I want to thank you for my health, I want to thank you for my friends, for my closest and farthest, for those who hurt me, and those who loved me, for those who helped me, and those who taught me, and those who stood by me, and those who encouraged me. I thank you for my boyfriend, who’s been a great support through many hard times throughout the past years especially with my mother’s death, and especially during the past months after my return from abroad. I thank you for making our roads cross 7 years ago, and for making them cross again and again after we broke up twice.
I thank you for making me come back home safely everyday. I thank your for protecting me from illnesses and diseases from which other people suffer and die everyday. I thank you for the food I find easily and don’t suffer to get. I thank you for never making me thirsty or in short of water. I thank you for the education I got, for the experience I had, for the problems I faced, for all the moments of happiness and sadness that I went through, for every laugh I enjoyed, and every tear drop I dreaded, for every nice summer vacation I had, for every funny moment I had with my family, for every party I went to with friends, for every exam I passed, and every lesson I learned, for every book I read, and every song I listened too, for every new friend I made, and those of them that are still my friends.
I thank you for all the moments of my life, I thank you and I thank you, and I keep thanking you, but I know that it’s not enough. It’s not enough to show how grateful I am… how grateful I am for all the things you give me, all your help in the difficult situations. You’re so good to me; how you made me forget, when I thought I will always be missing my mom for every second until the end of my life, how you made me love again, when I thought I was broken hearted, how you made me cry, when I thought I was stronger, how you made me learn, when I thought “I knew it all”, how you made me happy, when I thought I am the happiest one on earth. I thank you for your presence in my life, for the signs you gave me and those you still give me until this very moment. I thank you for the tests you make me go through, and how they are always so meaningful and make perfect sense… afterwards.
God, I thank you for making me the person I came to be, I thank you for seeing through me, and I thank you for your smiley eyes that look at me.