The trees far away & my smoking ladybird

I ride my bike and travel around the small streets and the universe. I see the sun shining behind the trees and I am glad I brought my hat with me. Sometimes you bring stuff with you “just incase” but the case never occurs. Even if you are waiting for the slightest excuse to interpret it as “the case”, but then you feel stupid pretending this to be “the case”, because it’s obviously not. Between here and the trees over there it might take me 2 hours and 33 minutes. Naa, lets say 3 hours and 79 minutes. Well, there is no 79. They are watching I know, and they are probably much developed than we are, but maybe not. I wrote the cards and looked out of the window and thought deeply about them, and told them that I am waiting for them, and I am ready to meet them, and want to meet them, but they never came. I crave for that cigarette, but can’t think about that now. I am supposedly a non-smoker and I am very proud of myself…most of the time. At other times I ask myself: Why the fuck did I quit smoking?!! Those situations are usually something like this: I am standing among 30 or more people who are all smoking. As simple as that.
I love those mushrooms and wish I can find more ladybirds among the freshly washed cloths like it used to happen to us when I was a little girl. I loved to have them walk around my fingers, then my hand, then my arm, and then I bring them back out of the window and set them free. They say they bring luck, but they used to bring me happiness…..but doesn’t the fact that I found a lot of them make me lucky?

Sure I am ;).

التليفزيون

فى حالة وجود أية مشكلات، برجاء الإتصال بنا على الأرقام التالية: زيرو تلات سبعاااااات خمس تلاف.
تيييت كبير وخطير تيييت طويل طويل طويل وخطير وكبير وعظيم وطخين ووسيم.
سفيرة أمريكا فى مصر: ولاكن بعد إنتخاب حماس إن حماس بالطبع إن كانوا يرغبون عليهم أن يلتزموا وينبذوا العنف فهذه هى أسس السلم هل الولايات المتحدة الأمريكية مستعدة أن تتعامل مع منظمة التحرير الفلسطنينية، والدخول فى مفاوضات السلام ونتطلع إلى خطاب أوباما هنا فى مصر.
تعقيب من مذيعة مصرية عبيطة: على فكرة الحوار دة ويمكن زيارة الرئيس مبارك، دة مش كلامى دة كلام الصحف الأمريكية.

الكثير من الأعوام بعد أن الجيلى فيش كان من الحيوانات الشفافة ويمكن إيجاده فى العديد من البحار.
إسرائيل .....فرانك فرانك تعالى إلى هنا فبعض الناس الأشرار يراقبونا وأنا أحتاج لمساعدتك.أنا أحب رجل لا يحبنى، هذا الفيلم أحبه لكنه فيلم عبيط ولامؤخذة حريمى، بس بحبه عشان لذيذ وخفيف ونهايته حلوة unlike many movies nowadays.

Smart move Mr. Ramsis!!!!!

Cars.... slow car, straight, still slow car, square, drive left, no more slow car, right, stop…
Traffic infront of the bridge. 10 minutes in the same spot. At the end of the bridge: a car broken. Man underneath the car fixing it. Never crossed his mind to move the car 2 meters to the front and then 2 meters to the side and spare me 10 minutes of my precious time. After bridge fast again….not that fast actually. Fast is a relative thing. I drive straight, take the road underneath 6th of October bridge (the “Road of the Clever”, as we used to call it…. But should change the name…..they are not so clever anymore). Drive in curves, stop for no reason, bridge, then down again, then STOP.
I stop in the part, where Ramsis statue stood for around… 50 years?
But he left the area. He realized, like most of us, how crowded and polluted the area became and he decided to move outside Cairo to the new neighborhoods. Like many Caireans, who left Cairo and went to the suburbs, Mr. Ramsis did the same.
But though some of these Caireans were smart to leave the crowded city, they weren’t smart enough, or maybe not lucky enough, to find a job within or near their new neighborhoods. So they have to drive E-VERY-DAY to the city center and get stuck in the traffic, AND increase the number of cars driving around Cairo to the double during the day.
Mr. Ramsis, did something else. He didn’t leave his old house, Ramsis Square, and go to the new suburb until he found a job nearby his new house. So he’s actually living and working in the same area…. Actually same spot.

No time for love.

Everything so hectic. 24 hours seem not enough. 7 days are few. 2 days weekend are not available. I miss you and can’t seem to find you. We meet on higher grounds or on lower ones, and both are not real. I look at you, but you don’t see me. Things on your mind make you go away while you’re sitting next to me. I remember the telepathy between us long time ago, but now so far away. Our minds don’t meet, our eyes don’t look at eachother, and our bodies are close yet far away. I long to the days when we had nothing on our minds. When the next months weren’t planned, and when today was what really mattered. Between smoke and tension nothing seems normal anymore. We’ve got life on our mind all the time, yet we don’t have time to enjoy it. You smile, but behind your smile I see you drifting somewhere else. Believe it or not I think this thing is not brining us any closer. Yet to gain the fruit of the effort, one has to wait and be patient. Why do you not see me? Why does space and time bring us far from eachother? Can I bring the vibe again? Can I bring the smile from inside you rather than the fake one outside? Where is the love? Where is the care? Everyone so self-centered, everyone self-absorbed. Memories are all that’s left, yet we wish to re-live them again. Hope is all that’s left for me. But if lost, life is not worth living.

I take the loved from the lover

I take the child from the mother

I take the enemy from the foe

I take everything and go

My mission is to obey the rules

I’m too strong to act like fools

If I’m ordered to take a king

Even his armies won’t change a thing

I’m the sad end of a love story

I’m the reason for a king’s fading glory

I’m sudden, evil and black

I come from behind and immediately attack

I’m not ashamed to do my mission

I’m not afraid to confess my passion

Yes, I do enjoy to kill

And I do this with my own free will

I do not blame others for what they do

Even if they are doctors and cure the few

So respect me or go to hell

And to do the second my friend, I can help yew as well. ;)

the MIX

When I was walking down this road and then BANG something hits me in the face.

I stumble and fall and I don't even realize what hit me, until I go home, look in the mirror and see half of my face gone. I try to take parts of my left eye and ear and put them on the other side to feel complete again, but nothing works. I am handicapped. It should be ok, if I am looking for a job in Europe, where people of such disabilities get a CHANCE, which is a word not known here in my beloved Egypt.
Anywayz........I realize now what hit me...NO, not a bus, but the REALITY. The reality hit me just for a second, and I was wearing my colorful hat that yew gave me some years ago, and now it blew far away, and came back on my half-head again. I need to smoke...

It's my Birthday today!!!!!!

When you feel it inside your body and soul; a certain shivering that you experience suddenly: like a certain rush of emotions (happiness, love, gratitude, care, affection etc.) and you see the whole world... not the whole world, but the world around you right now (e.g. your room) as one of THE happiest, most welcoming places in the world... THEN you should know that you are either: 1) newly in love, 2) high on drugs, 3) or actually high on anything that can get you high, OR 4) newly in love + high on whatever + listening to great music + feeling good about yourself + being grateful for every tiny, little thing that happened and is happening to you on this very day.
When you experience all of the above, then you are allowed to call this day: your "birthday"!
Why? Because people convince us that our birthdays are supposed to be EXTRAORDINARY days. And sadly, because of this high expectation, usually our birthdays suck and turn out to be one of the most boring, or sad, or disorganized days of our lives.
So when you experience one of those exceptionally multi- emotions-super-happy days, do me this favor: go get yourself a cake, make a wish, and blow the candle(s).
Believe me... your wish will come true.

For all the "Thank You's" that I didn't say...

I’ve never seen you before, but I always heard about you, since I was a little girl. I always tried to imagine how you look like. These imaginations were built up on the different things I heard “grown-ups” say about you. They said that you’re big, that you’re strong, and that you punish us when we do mistakes. Whenever kids like me did something wrong, our parents would tell us that you’re going to be mad at us. We were immediately scared, because we didn’t want to piss you off. Not because we loved you, but because we were scared of you, and because we were scared of the punishment… of YOUR punishment.
Recently, after so many years of experience, questions, discussions, readings, conversations, ideas, information, and meditation, your picture in my mind changed alot. Suddenly you didn’t look big and scary anymore. Now… you look more like a sweet old man, veeery old, with white hair and beard, with a sweet smile in your eyes… you’re not always smiling I know, sometimes you have to look angry, but this angriness doesn’t erase the smile in your eyes. These warm eyes that make me love you more and more and more. These welcoming eyes that say: “whatever you do, I love you”.  And I think to myself: “I love you, too”.
But you know why? Not only because of your welcoming smile, or your encouragement of every improvement and progress I bring to my life, but because of so many things. I love you and I thank you at the same time. I thank you for my life… I thank you for every breath you gave and still give me. I thank you for my father, for the relationship we’ve developed now and for the love and affection we have and show to eachother. I thank you for my sister, for how close we became, for how strong she is, and for the many advice she gave me throughout the past year. I thank you for my aunt, who’s become a mother to me and my sister since 3 years, and who is doing it willingly and affectionately. I thank you for their lives, for their presence in my life, for their health and well-being, for their love and care…
Do you know what else I want to thank you for? I want to thank you for my health, I want to thank you for my friends, for my closest and farthest, for those who hurt me, and those who loved me, for those who helped me, and those who taught me, and those who stood by me, and those who encouraged me. I thank you for my boyfriend, who’s been a great support through many hard times throughout the past years especially with my mother’s death, and especially during the past months after my return from abroad. I thank you for making our roads cross 7 years ago, and for making them cross again and again after we broke up twice.
I thank you for making me come back home safely everyday. I thank your for protecting me from illnesses and diseases from which other people suffer and die everyday. I thank you for the food I find easily and don’t suffer to get. I thank you for never making me thirsty or in short of water. I thank you for the education I got, for the experience I had, for the problems I faced, for all the moments of happiness and sadness that I went through, for every laugh I enjoyed, and every tear drop I dreaded, for every nice summer vacation I had, for every funny moment I had with my family, for every party I went to with friends, for every exam I passed, and every lesson I learned, for every book I read, and every song I listened too, for every new friend I made, and those of them that are still my friends.
I thank you for all the moments of my life, I thank you and I thank you, and I keep thanking you, but I know that it’s not enough. It’s not enough to show how grateful I am… how grateful I am for all the things you give me, all your help in the difficult situations. You’re so good to me; how you made me forget, when I thought I will always be missing my mom for every second until the end of my life, how you made me love again, when I thought I was broken hearted, how you made me cry, when I thought I was stronger, how you made me learn, when I thought “I knew it all”, how you made me happy, when I thought I am the happiest one on earth. I thank you for your presence in my life, for the signs you gave me and those you still give me until this very moment. I thank you for the tests you make me go through, and how they are always so meaningful and make perfect sense… afterwards.
God, I thank you for making me the person I came to be, I thank you for seeing through me, and I thank you for your smiley eyes that look at me.